A Simple Sneeze
by SpaceMonkey0941
Summary: Atlantis's chef has a cold. Who comforts her? Written in homage to Reefgirl, the creator of the lovely Alex Ramsey. Rated T for persnickity people.


A/N: The lovely Alex Ramsey is NOT MINE, although I do borrow her quite a bit. She is the creation of the fabulous Reefgirl, and is one of my most favorite non-canonical characters.

A/N2: **Stargate Atlantis:** MGM's. Not mine. **Alex: **Reefgirl's. _Not mine_. **The world:** Somebody else's, probably "Toupée" Trump or someone who can afford it. Point is, THEY'RE NOT MINE. Anyone sensing a pattern here?

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"ATCHOO!"

Major Evan Lorne looked up over the top of his turkey sandwich at Doctor Radek Zelenka, who was walking through the commissary with a pile of papers that leaned precariously at every sneeze. As the red-nosed scientist exited the room, Major Lorne looked across the table at Lieutenant Laura Cadman, the city's resident gossipmonger.

"Where'd the doc get that nasty cold?" he asked her, biting into his food again.

She shrugged. "From Chef Ramsey, of course," she said, carefully measuring out dressing onto her salad.

He stared at her in surprise. "What?"

She looked at him, wide-eyed in pretend shock.

"You mean you didn't know?" she asked, leaning conspiratorially toward him.

He shook his head mutely, unconsciously mimicking her movement and leaning forward. "You mean she –?" he asked breathlessly.

Laura nodded, smirking.

"And he –?"

She nodded again, her smirk widening.

"Which means they –!"

Smiling smugly, she sat back and raised her eyebrows at him. "What do you think?"

Completely flabbergasted, Evan stared into space and pondered this revelation, his meal forgotten. Satisfied at the result her information had given, Laura deftly snagged the other half of his sandwich and ate it.

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"ATCHOO!"

"Bless yer 'eart, boss, 'ave you caught a cold then?" Mick, the kindly kitchen assistant said to Alex Ramsey, who blew her nose and glared at the world.

"Yes I've caught a bloody cold, d'you think I just go around snivelling because it's the new fashion?" she retorted stuffily, then sneezed again.

"ATCHOO! Filthy bugger!" she swore.

A discreet cough caused Alex and Mick to turn towards the door of the kitchen, where Doctor Radek Zelenka was standing. Alex made an attempt to smile at her friend, but sneezed yet again. Swearing under her breath, she moved toward the Czech, gesturing at the waste-basket overflowing with used tissues.

"Sorry, Radek, I've come down with a bit of a cold," she said. He nodded understandingly.

"I had heard that," he said, and held out a small, flat box to her. "It is why I brought you this."

Mick took this opportunity to leave the room. He had seen the looks passing between his friend Alex and the quiet foreign scientist for a while now, and knew that they would probably want to be alone.

Alex took the box, a puzzled expression flitting across her face. Not opening it, she looked up at Radek, who was shuffling his feet awkwardly.

"What's all this then?" she asked him. He shrugged, then answered, "It is an old recipe that my grandmother used whenever one of my family got sick. It worked every time," he assured her, seeing her look of skepticism.

Raising her eyebrows, she looked back at the box, then shrugged and said, "Well, it can't hurt, and it might help, so hurry up and let it, as _my_ old grandmother used to say."

Radek smiled and offered her his arm. "May I accompany you to your quarters?"

Slightly thrown off by his gentlemanly behavior, it took Alex a minute to respond, then she threw caution to the winds and placed her hand lightly on his outstretched arm.

"Thanks, Radek, I'd like that," she smiled at him, causing him to blush slightly.

When they reached her room, Radek stood aside gallantly to let Alex open the door, then waited quietly in the doorway until she noticed he hadn't followed her in.

"Come in," she said, smiling at his politeness. _This is new,_ she thought. She wasn't quite used to men like Radek. When he smiled back at her, she blushed, and stuck that train of thought into the back of her mind, instead concentrating on opening the box without dropping it.

When she saw the contents, she gasped. Nestled in the red velvet lining of the box was a small flask of whiskey, a container of fragrant tea, and some chocolates. Looking from the box to Radek, then back again, Alex took a minute to process the events, then put the box down and went to look for a teapot.

As she clanked around in the boxes of cooking utensils she'd brought back from Earth on her last visit, she said, "Thank you so much, this was just what I needed," to Radek. He laughed, then responded, "I do not think you will have had anything like this tea, it is a very unusual blend and is meant to be taken with whiskey."

Alex, bringing a tray with two cups and a teapot, motioned for Radek to sit down on the bed, put the tray down on the floor, then sat next to him. She put some of the tea into the pot of hot water, then poured whiskey into the two cups. She held the box out to Radek, and he took one of the chocolates with a nod of thanks.

Alex decided to break the companiable silence. "How did you know I was sick? I didn't even tell Mick 'till today," she asked, pouring the tea through a strainer into the cups.

He tilted his head, thinking, then answered, "When I saw you yesterday you appeared tired, and this morning I heard you cough."

Struck by his perceptiveness, Alex was quiet, and he continued, "I am sure others noticed as well."

She laughed at that, shaking her head slowly. "I don't think many people on this base know I'm alive, much less that I'm sick," she said quietly, prompting him to pat her knee comfortingly as she stared down into the depths of her teacup.

"That is not true," he protested. "I have heard compliments of your cooking from many many people, and also compliments of your method of handling Dr. McKay."

She looked up at him, unconsciously sliding closer to him on the bed as he moved his arm to hold her shoulders. "Yeah, well, the little bugger asked for it," she said, attempting to downplay her importance. "And lots of the cooking is Mick and Sally, I just stand in a corner and order them around most days."

"You," Radek said, staring deep into her eyes, "are very important to this city."

Alex laughed, leaning into his shoulder briefly. "You're sweet, Radek, but flattery and the truth are two very different things."

"It is the truth!" he said, touching her face with his other hand, gently turning her to face him. "I, for one, would be very unhappy if you were not here."

She moved towards him, then sat back, afraid of what might happen. Apparently he was not, for he closed the gap between them effortlessly. Carefully putting her teacup down on the tray, Alex's only thoughts were that if Radek were not here, she would also be very unhappy.

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"Radek?"

"Mmm?"

"I think the tea worked."

"I told you it would."

"Yes," -giggle- ". . . you did."

"It is an old family recipe that works on any ailment."

"I'm sure it does."

"The only cure for the common . . . ATCHOO!"

-pause-

"You _must_ be joking."

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A/N: And there you have it. Alex/Radek shipping. Wonderful stuff. Cures any fanfictional ailment, such as angst, whump-caused depression, and general sexual tension between characters that should really get together but probably never will canonically. Doseage: one one-shot per unhappy thought.


End file.
